The United States of America?
by Gemleaf
Summary: Fifty States...Fifty girls...How is America going to manage this? Or better yet, how are they going to manage America?
1. Chapter 1

Note: I do not own Hetalia, if I did I wouldn't be writing on Fanfiction. On an added note, please don't flame me about this fic', saying I'm being stereotypical. These parodies make fun of the stereotypes. Plus, this isn't one big story, it is a collection of stories on each chapter. Also, there is a bit of AU (quite a bit, actually), but please** if I get any of the history wrong, correct me.** Please don't be mad at me for neglecting some of the states, there's 50 of them. Another note: I don't see the states as America's kids, Alfred is 19 years old, therefore him having ANY kids (that are teenagers or adults) would be very odd. **Therefore, in this story, none of the states are related. (North/South States and the like are excluded from this rule. Ex. South/North Dakota) **Some of the humor may be tinted towards my politics, I'll try to make fun of every thing equally, but I'm human aren't I? I sometimes make things that could be called a "crack pairing", but only because there's so much room for writing about what the state's relations towards each other are.

This story is just me poking fun at mainly American politics (though some historical events are done) or politics that are lost to history. :) Finally, my stories are mostly humorous, but some of them can be serious, too.

This Story is Rated: **T** for Too Much Fun

For: New York and her inclination to tell everyone to go fuck themselves on the subway, Florida and her illegal drug fueled misadventures, California and her movies that are soulless AND will suck out your soul, Alaska and her strange fixation with otters, Mississippi and her racist Disney characters talking about life on the bayou, Texas' trigger-happy attitudes (bang-bang!), Idaho's all-too-comfortable love of potatoes, Virginia constantly trying to not be like West Virginia, West Virginia constantly trying to not be like Virginia, Rhode Island and the unfair games of 'monkey-in-the-middle' the states play with her purse, Ohio and..., Oklahoma and the fact she likes to scream at people for carrying around permanent markers and finally so many other reasons that I cannot put it into this paragraph.

...

America, he has fifty states. Fifty girls (though Massachusetts' gender is still quite a mystery, donate to Texas' political campaigning fund and we shall find out together), each with unique personalities, origins and (of course) political opinions. Whether it be Texas' ultra conservative and right-wing values or Massachusetts' love of _Socialism and the damn liberal agenda -_

We're sorry for the delay. It seems our keyboards at _Keyboard Inc. _have been hijacked by South Carolina.

...

Democracy. The beauty of America and what makes it free. Such of a high importance to Americans that they identify with it as part of their culture.

The land of the Free...

Let's take a look at a meeting with America, D.C. and the fifty states.

America waltzed into the noisy room with D.C., and everyone grew quiet. D.C. (officially named 'Bitch-of-The-Year' by the states) sighed heavily, checking her make-up. She had dark brown hair and even darker brown eyes, and wore a business suit and high-heels. America was much more casual, wearing his usual jacket and jeans combo, never complete without his messy brown hair.

Her high-heels clicking impatiently, D.C. gently pushed America up to the podium. "Okay. We have some issues to deal with. Now, what do you all think we should do about immigration policies?"

"America's already diverse enough!" screeches Mississippi, who had been hiding in the ventilation ducts for two days, lying in wait until she could get her turn to speak. "I reckon we arm our border patrols with machine guns and various automatic weapons and you'll see how many job-stealing immigrants come over now!" Mississippi was a woman who liked her opinions and wanted equal rights, as long as she was more equal than others. Her red hair was currently messy and blowing from some nonexistent breeze. "It's a breech on my human rights to lose a job to a criminal! Now why dontcha think on that, liberal anti-American. Currently, we should work on deporting EVERYONE!"

Florida was the second to speak, "We are known throughout the world for our accepting policies on immigrants! We were made from immigrants, that's why we're all so diverse!" She winked and laughed, tossing her platinum blonde hair and putting on "Tan-in-a-Can" product that made her skin orange. She danced around the room, singing folk songs and making everyone feel warm inside. "Let's let them in! All of them! Asking whether or not they are legally immigrating here is a breech on the freedom of speech and human rights!" She wanted equal rights, so long as it pissed someone off.

Ohio instantly looked up, walked to the front and smiled. "Why exactly do we have to take either extreme?" She was a dark-skinned woman with curly black hair and brown eyes, "Couldn't we just prevent more people from immigrating here illegally by bulking up security at the border- but not being inhumane about it. Meanwhile, we could help the illegal immigrants that have been living here for a long time gain citizenship and encourage legal immigration. This is not an issue we can take extremes with."

Ignore third option. Silence. Debate the morality of cheese.

Silly Ohio, thinking you could come up with a vaguely logical decision for a debate. That doesn't get votes!

...

Texas' Opinions about America's name:

"Hey Texas!"

At this, Texas turned around (while riding a black stallion) and trotted over to America. "Howdy America. Ya'll know I been just a bit on the curr-y-uss side about your name." She was a tall woman, a bit taller than America (which was an incredible height to surpass). She had braided brown hair with a cowboy hat on.

America looked up, puzzled. "What's wrong with my name?"

Texas looked at him very seriously, so seriously you could almost laugh, "America is an awful fem-min-nim sounding name, ain't it? Are ya'll a homm-uh-sexual, cause I find it awful strange how ya'll look when you talk about Britain _or _Russia."

"I swear nothing is going on between me and Britain."

"...But back to my point, have ya'll tried cross-dressin?"

America continued to stare and blink, then started to laugh. "That's like, totally not your business, that's just what I was named."

"I reckon we'd a rodeo wrastlin' match. If I win, ya'll fess' up. If you win, I leave ya'll alone about it."

She proceeded to lead him to a rodeo stadium where they saw few mats with spikes on them. They heard the distinct snuffling of horses in the stable. "Okay, ya'll be ridin' an untrained mustang while tryin' to catch a two ton bull with an old lasso and jump onto it's back then ride it around for ten seconds, all the while ya'll have to avoid the spikes, them mustangs and bulls is awful clever, they'll try to buck you off on them."

"Hey Texas, was the regular bull riding not killing you fast enough?" he asked shakily.

...

The Sleepover

Alaska busied herself, cleaning everything that was messy and cooking her favorite recipe of hot cocoa. This was it. Finally, she was going to host a sleep over... and people were coming! She has a promise from Florida, Hawaii, Texas and Massachusetts. A maybe from Hungary and New York. A 'I might drop in and raid your refrigerator' from America. And finally, a 'DEFINITELY NOT! THERE IS NO WAY!" from Belarus.

You see, usually people don't come when she asks them to come over. It's always the same excuses, 'I live 1000 miles away!' or something just as stupid, 'You live in the middle of no where.' But not this time. Not. This. Time. She managed to catch some states that had NO excuses! None! They had the transportation this time and they weren't busy.

The Inuit woman took a look in the mirror. Long black hair and even darker eyes reflected back to her.

The first to come was New York, walking in without knocking. She wore a fur coat and had electric white hair (she dyes her hair a different color every month). New York hugged Alaska, "Alaska! How are you?" New York was loud and rambunctious, always ready to make noise or cause a scene. Not only that, but she could cry on command and would lie, steal, cheat, betray and do about anything to get ahead in show business. Fortunately for Alaska, she had no interest in musicals and plays.

The next to come was Florida, who came in wearing a hoodie and jeans and was shivering pathetically. "H-h-hi Alas-k-ka. You sai-d-d it w-would be cold. N-Not freezing."

Texas walked in with a huge smile and a pat on the back. "Howdy Alaska! I reckon I'll sit a spell, if ya'll need help with anything, ya'll ask me and I'll be there quicker than a jack-rabbit on a hot grill on a hot Summer's day." Texas was suspiciously trigger-happy, and her record with capital punishment was part impressive and part frightening.

Belarus stormed into the building, "I came just to piss you off." she announced, which everyone reacted with indifference. She then stormed out, but not before knocking over a vase.

"Wow. Belarus certainly has it out for you." said Florida, scratching her head.

"She certainly does. I don't know why." mused Alaska.

Massachusetts knocked on the door, smiling at Alaska politely. Massachusetts was flat-chested (if s/he is a girl) or not particularly muscular, with short light brown hair that s/he put a hat over. S/he wore a warm looking sweater. "Hi Alaska!" His/Her voice was not particularly high, but not particularly low. Massachusetts certainly wasn't ugly, s/he was just androgynous.

"Well aren't you the most adorable lookin'... person I've ever seen!" commented Texas, not complete without her amiable tone.

Massachusetts sighed and sat down, warming his/her self in the house.

They waited an hour, but that was it. Florida, Texas, New York, Alaska and Massachusetts: All tied together for one night. In the the middle of nowhere - Or "Alaska" if you want to get technical.

I'll be shocked if they even survive each others company.

...

A Geography Lesson

Florida, Oregon, Oklahoma and Indiana all sat in a room together, they awaited the lesson that they would be taught. Idaho popped out and brought up a power-point, happily pointing at the title "The Geography of Earth".

"Okay, so this right here is 'us'! The country above us is Canada- What's your question, Florida?"

Florida twirled her hair, "Isn't, like, Canada the place where, like, people make syrup or something?"

Idaho sighed inwardly, "Okay, who can tell me what the country south of us is?"

"Hell?" called out Oklahoma.

"Don't be such a dumbass, Oka. That's South America, right?" claimed Indiana.

*five minutes of Idaho crying in a corner later*

As she wiped the last of her tears from her eyes, Idaho took a deep breath. She would need to be very patient with these four. "That was Mexico, South America isn't a country. Okay, before I go on, do you have any questions?"

All four hands came up at once. They are clearly inquisitive, despite the intelligence of the question, so they had potential at least. She prepared herself for what she may hear, "Okay... Oregon?"

"What's the difference between Lithuania and Ethiopia...?"

"Wait... what?"

"You heard me, what's the difference between Lithuania and Ethiopia?"

"How the hell could you get the two confused?" Idaho's eyes were so wide that you could almost only see the whites. "You know what? I'll call up Ethiopia and Lithuania, see if they're not busy..." She opened up her cell-phone and dialed a number, "Hey. It's the girl America brought to that conference. You know, I had brown eyes and the brunette ponytail. I understand you have much more important things to do, but I'd totally owe you if you'd come over just real quick to explain something to these girls, I understand it, but they probably don't listen to me. Yes? Okay. Uh-huh. You see, I'm teaching some other states about Geography and one of them got Ethiopia and you confused-" CLICK. "Lithuania is going to be permanently busy whenever I call him from now on."

She dialed another number, "Hey Ethiopia, it's the girl America brought to that conference-" CLICK.

"Anyways, the difference geography wise is that Ethiopia lives in Africa and Lithuania lives in Eastern Europe. I could tell you about the different ways their countries are run, or the differing economies or-"

"Where is Eastern Europe?" asked Oklahoma, looking blankly at her, "Is it anywhere near Europe?"

Oregon mused, "Somehow I get the feeling it's somewhere East of Europe, but I have no idea why."

This is the part where Idaho screamed a bunch of expletives and exited the room, respectively. After a session of breathing and cooling off, she entered the classroom once more. She brought up a diagram of Asia, "Okay! What country is this?" she pointed to China.

"Is it China?" whispered Florida. Idaho's eyes brightened immediately, "You... You got it right. Well God damn it, you got it right." So much work to be done... But there was hope.

...

A Kiss From a Communist (The Horror!)

1955 was the year. Incidentally, it was in the middle of the Cold War (AKA the period of unbearable sexual tension between Russia and America), which, as France will tell you (due to his thorough investigations), was plenty of interesting things, but cold was not one of them. But that has nothing to do with anything, it's just a fun thing to mention.

A "ball" was being held in America's dance hall, but it was really a boring get-together for the nations of the world to discuss things (the only ones who planned on dancing were Austria and Hungary). But little did those unsuspecting nations know that Michigan, Quebec and Sonora were leading a plan to crash the party, a grand plan that not only had all of the states involved, but also Canada's Provinces and Mexico's States. All of Mexico's states were men (which was fun for the American States to think about, saying Mexico is a girl). They were going to call it 'Operation: Epic Dragon of Some Sort'

Sonora smoothed his curly raven locks and wiped the sweat off his forehead. After taking off his shirt and oiling his caramel six-pack, he plucked a rose out of thin air and breathed in the aroma (sniffing or smelling something is too unattractive for him). He then spoke the words 'This rose smells like flowers.' in Spanish, and most of the girls swooned, not really knowing what he was saying. He spilled his coffee on his chest accidentally and mused, "Oh no, I'll have to wash my chest again and then oil it..." The girls made outbursts of approval. The Mexican States were now thoroughly annoyed by Sonora.

"Why are you staring at Sonora and drooling like that, fellow state?" an American state asked another.

She responded with, "Um... Because I'm imagining the emotional fulfillment I could get from him."

They giggled raucously at that.

Finally, Chihuahua dragged him away from his gushing female audience, all the while lecturing him about how much he made a fool of himself. Sonora simply sighed and stuck his tongue out, but complied with putting his shirt back on. What mattered now is that the plans were ready, and all they needed were fabulous outfits to impress upon everyone.

This is where New York butted in and, as nicely as she could, told them that they all were inept dumbshits when it came to fashion, and that she would take charge, with help from California, in the matters of proper dress and attire. Texas glowered at her, New York really had spent WAY too much time with Britain, it had made her both a princess and a pushy little bitch all at the same time. The white haired state then smiled in a sweet kind of way at Texas, "Maybe I can get something to cover up those man shoulders, huh Abi?"

"Hey! I don't need anything from you, you damn varmint!"

"I fucking beat your ass during the Civil War, don't ya think I can do it again, fucking dipshit?"

"Listen Varmint, don't make me shove my size twelve boots up your-"

To stop the fighting, Florida took hold of Texas' arm, "Come on, I know she's annoying, but can you just leave her be?" Texas turned slightly red, "Sure Florida, I'll leave that thug alone, but only cause' we have more important matters to deal with."

"More because you're a fucking qu-" Pennsylvania put a hand over New York's mouth, "I'm going to start making you put soap in your mouth every time you say anything rude." she spoke in her creepily monotone voice. "Fucking psycho."

"Time for some soap." Pennsylvania dragged New York off into the distance, all the while New York screamed every single curse, rude, and offensive thing she could think of. The last thing everyone heard from her was, "Oh my god, you're a strong motherfucker, aren't you, you fucking psychopath. Stop fucking around, you're not gonna fucking stick some fucking soap in my fucking mouth, oh god fucking dammit!"

This happened a lot, so none of the American states paid attention, except for Massachusetts remarking dully, "That's a new record of the number of times she's dropped the f-word in one string of dialogue, right?"

Since New York was currently missing, it was California's job to find outfits. This task was not so daunting to her, since she had a whole warehouse full of dresses and suits in Hollywood that the stars have deemed 'old' after wearing only once. Wearing one day old clothes was embarrassing, but California was going to suck it up.

And thus, the day of the 'ball' arrived.

All of the nations sat in different tables. Nigeria and Britain were having a rather heated discussion with each other, and India simply coldly acknowledged Britain and went to talk with China. America was sitting at a table alone, staring at Russia as if he expected him to start blowing up any minute. Russia simply smiled at America, smiling in that way where it was obvious he wanted to crush his soul into dust.

France was telling everyone who'd listen about the newest fashions and trends and Italy was trying to decide whether it'd be out of line to try to talk to his old friend, Germany.

That said, Germany was looking pretty miserable (and guilty), but was having a discussion with Canada about how reconstruction was going. Japan was unsure who to talk to, so he sat down next to America, who was immediately distracted from watching the suspicious communist by greeting Japan way too warmly for his comfort.

But suddenly, it was heard.

_Put your glad rags on, join me, hon._

_We'll have some fun when the clock strikes one._

A popular song was playing as loudly as possible (from the neglected jukebox in the far corner), and Austria looked scandalized when the violinists were interrupted. Every single state and province poured into the huge dance hall. They were all excited and happy looking, and the stressed out nations (all except Austria) accepted this as a sign to let loose. Immediately, the states and provinces began giggling and daring each other. But, it would be carried out as planned. Giggling, Michigan took out a hat filled with slips of paper. "Okay everyone, the nation you have on the slip of paper is the one you have to ask to dance first!"

Sonora was the first one to take a slip of paper. **Germany. **

New York impatiently took one. **Russia. **"Why do I always have to be with the fucking psycho? Fuck this. Fuck this dance. Fuck you. Fuck everyone." she shoved the paper in Michigan's hands, who immediately started to look nervous. Before she could throw it back at her, New York had left (followed by a blank-faced Pennsylvania) Michigan was stuck with it. She had come up with the idea, now she had to follow through with it.

It didn't take long for everyone to get a slip of paper, and, giggling like schoolgirls, they set off bravely. All except Michigan who was taking the long way to Russia's table. But she neared far too soon, and she was twitching and falling over her words. "So, erm, Mr. Russia- or USSR, or... Mr. Soviet Union, Communist Person- um... Would you like to dance with me?"

A grey shadow fell over Russia's face as his mouth twitched into a smile. It was a mildly genuine smile, but still had a little darkness within it. "Sure." He stole a glance at America, who was dancing in a goofy manner with Lithuania. Just as she was going to the dance floor, France, being the troll he was, changed the song to something much more romantic. Everyone made the transition into a slow dance.

Michigan felt more than a little queasy about slow dancing with the communist, but Russia was unfazed. When they got to the dance floor, the first thing she noticed was his iron grip on her shoulders. Uncomfortably searching for an area to place her hands (which should be the guy's job, dammit!), she finally decided to place her hands on his waist. Somehow, this felt a little backwards, so they switched. Michigan was hoping that whoever she danced with would know how to dance, but her hopes were invalid. Both had no idea how to dance, and they simply awkwardly moved about the room until they figured out a way to keep some kind of rhythm. When this happened, France applauded them raucously from afar.

"So, have you danced before?"

"...da, I think so, maybe once."

"I haven't."

"Oh. Have you ever broken something for fun?"

"I break things a lot, but only on accident."

"Oh. You're Michigan, da? I heard you are near lake."

"Yeah."

"I'm in middle of cold weather."

"I heard. You like sunflowers?"

At this Russia turned the slightest shade of pink, but then a dark shadow cast over him as he began to smiled his 'I want to put a pickax in someone's face' smile, "Who told you that?"

"No one! It's just that I heard it was your national flower, so I thought you'd like them. What's with that, anyways?" she asked, taking a huge notice of the tightening of Russia's already iron grip on her waist.

"It's just that they're happy-looking. It invites happiness into a house." the darkness over his face faded a little, and his creepy smile also lost its intensity. "Um... What flower do you like?"

Michigan thought a little, "Apple blossom. Because it means that fruit is on its way. They're also kinda pretty, and... happy, I guess." The iron grip relaxed, and she was massively relieved. She managed a weak smile, "Is it hard to grow sunflowers in Russia?"

"Da, it is. But in warm places like where you live it must be easy to find apple blossoms. You have such nice weather." he mused, no longer smiling, which in this case was a good thing.

The song ended, and they parted. But Russia, still gazing at America (who was talking with Lithuania), went after Michigan. "I buy drink for you, da?"

"Sure..."

They sat at the bar, and she asked for a martini. Russia asked for a few shots of vodka. "So, how do all these states come to be?"

"Um... I'm not sure. But none of us are sure how we came to be, isn't that right?"

After about ten minutes of talking (which became less and less awkward as Michigan's glass emptied and Russia's shots stacked up), they had miraculously found that they liked each other! The talking continued, and the amount of alcohol consumed increased. "So, I was sayin' to South Dakota, that's my lake! You can't have it! It's named god damned Lake Michigan, god dammit."

"I understand completely! I was all, that's my side of Berlin! I earned it!"

"That's a little bit different, but point made. You know, I was wrong about you commie bastard, you're actually alright."

"And I was wrong about you capitalist leech, I don't want to smash your face in."

If she were sober, she'd have been a little put off by that, but she simply laughed. "You know, you are actually the cutest thing, and I don't say this to just anyone so listen closely. I think... I think, that you're special. You, yeah you, don't deserve the crap you put up with. Stay with me, Russia, stay with me. You should just... just... be happy if you can. You know, like the sunflowers."

They were only inches from each other, and both were red in the face. Russia touched her cheek and they slowly became closer... they kissed, and Michigan instantly became sober. "Oh god, why did I just do that?"

"We were having a little too much fun." and he unwrapped his arms that were around her, stood up from his seat, and left with the shadows he carried.

...

I hope my story wasn't too lame! :) Note: I don't know if Mexico's states are called something besides 'states', so if you know, please correct me! Also, if you happen to be Mexican, or know a lot about the country, it would really help if you'd give me some pointers on what you'd think each state would act like. Same thing goes for Canadian Provinces! I might bring them up again in future chapters.

I have given some of the states human names in my head, but I don't know how I would use them. I might write something about Florida and Texas in the next chapter. But I'm definitely going to write more with Pennsylvania, I think she's becoming my favorite. :D I'm Floridian, by the way.

Extra Notes: I think the "A Kiss From a Communist" one was kinda creepy, but in a way that most stories involving Ivan are.


	2. Chapter 2

...

**The Story of Texas**

Sweat poured down Spain's forehead. How was this even possible? He spent time in America to find places different than what he had at home. All around him, dry grass, sand, dirt, cacti, dust, dust and more dusty grass... There were no towns, so who would come around here? Who in the right mind would even try? What kind of hardcore, tough, grizzled (but extremely boring) survivalist would brave these areas alone?

"Howdy do!"

Spain looked at his feet to see where the little voice came from. A tiny child with big brown eyes and short messy hair looked up at him.

"Who are you?"

"Um..." the child looked a little confused, "Teck as... Tec... Tes..."

"Texas?"

The little one looked overjoyed, and jumped up and down because of happiness, "Tex! Tex! Texas!" Delighted, Spain picked the chibi up and started carrying it. "Do you want to be my hermana?"

The little smile faded, "Do I get a hat?"

He snuggled her adoringly, "Sure, you'll get plenty of hats."

She looked elated once more, "Yay! Hermana!" She clearly had no idea what that meant, other than that it was something he wanted to call her.

After carrying her for a while, he became very curious about the little chibi, "Were you lost, hermana?"

"Nope-a-di-do! I live here!"

"What do you eat?"

"Rattlesnakes! Yum yum yum!"

"What do you drink?"

"Water." she looked confused again.

"How do you get it?"

"I follow the buffalo! Clip-clop-clip-clop, all the way to water!"

"Isn't the heat too much?"

"Nope nope nope!"

"Why?"

"Um...Um...Um... Cause it's fun!"

Spain sighed to himself, she was going to be difficult to talk to. Oh well, she was too adorable to not like. A wave of shock passed through him, this means that she had been living out in these harsh conditions all by herself. She had to be somewhat resourceful if she survived out here even though she was so little, but this also meant that she would be hard to present to his boss. She didn't speak Spanish, or any kind of coherent sentence and she was completely wild, and somehow Spain got the feeling she wouldn't like having her hair combed. "Do you want to learn Espanol?"

"Um... No!"

"Are you sure?"

"Um... No!"

"So you will learn Espanol?"

"No! Um... what's an esspannil, can I eat it?"

...

**Apparently Pennsylvania Has Issues With Refrigerator**

America had fun when he visited Pennsylvania, though sometimes she... worried him a little. Of course, a hero would NEVER get SCARED, especially of his own state; it was just that her strange laws sometimes worried him. Yes, he was just worried, totally not scared. Really, he could understand a law against leaving refrigerators outside (he really couldn't). But he didn't understand the law of having to shoot off a rocket to notify horses you were coming or some shit, especially in a state where fireworks were illegal.

Then she would sell illegal fireworks (with names like Demon Destruction, Seems Legit, Fire Hazard, Legalbattlewaitingtohappen...), to other states (where fireworks were also illegal). But it was all to generate revenue, which made a little sense, and she would sell it to them so long as they had a drivers license.

It was the rule of not being able to sleep on top of refrigerators outside that bothered him. His guess over what happened, is that something like this occurred:

_"Hey, Pennsylvania! Look, that's a refrigerator, isn't it?" said New Jersey._

_"Why, yes. It is a refrigerator." Pennsylvania replied._

_"I'm gonna go sleep on top of it."_

_"NO!" cried Maryland from nowhere in particular._

_But as soon as New Jersey fell asleep on the deceitfully tempting spot of the top of a refrigerator, a portal to the netherworld opened and sucked all of the sane lawmakers in Pennsylvania inside._

_From that day on, Pennsylvania got an unwanted woman boner from seeing any refrigerator outside._

_..._

**Minnesota's Cultural Sensitivity Lecture!**

"You all know why you're here, right?" a tall woman with light brown hair done up in a bun took center stage. All of the states were present, and also Puerto Rico. "My name is Minnesota, and I'll be here to guide you through the amazing world of cultural sensitivity!" her accent was strange, an unnatural-sounding mixture of high pitch and friendliness. The states whispered about how they already knew that, but it was soon subdued.

"Any ways! Let us begin!" Mysteriously, a large screen lowered itself behind her. She began her presentation. A large picture of a rainbow flag took up the screen, "This here is the symbol of homosexuals. Does anyone know what a homosexual is?"

All hands shot up (with the exception of Utah), all hands were ignored. "A homosexual is someone who is attracted to the same sex. There is no way to tell if someone is talking to a homosexual. How do we go about finding this out?"

A cautious Rhode Island raised her hand, "We... politely ask them?"

"No, dearie dear, we give them a nice tap on the butt to make sure. This is a secret lingo among the homosexuals."

Next Subject: Europe

"Now dearies, what do you all know about Europe? I know what you may be thinking, 'Europe? That godless nation? What would I need to know about that?' Well, first of all, Europe is a continent!"

"We knew that..."

Ignored! "The Europeans have done so many amazing things, like developing accents! Wouldn't you know it, we ARE descended from Europeans! To think that such a strange place like Europe could have produced the United States of America, it is truly amazing! They are made up of mostly socialists, but there is hope for them! We only need to have patience, and they'll learn how to follow the true American way. Did you know that Europeans like to be cuddled? Who ever knew? The world is amazing!"

Next Subject: Africa

"Africa is made of mostly poor, unenlightened people that need our help! The nation of Africa has always been below the poverty line, and it's pretty much understood that they speak African."

Texas raised her hand, "I'm thinking that there are many black people in Africa, and many of our own states came from-"

"RACIST!" Red emergency lights flashed, and Minnesota turned into some sort of predatory bird. She appeared near her, "I might need to wash that blasphemy out of your mouth! You do not call them black, you call them African-Americans."

"But I reckon that they're not Ame-"

"Stop being so HATEFUL! I know you're a Southern hick state, but no need to wash your ignorance upon everyone else."

Disclaimer: Do not call someone from Nigeria an African-American and offer to teach them to read, they tend to respond with the ancient tribal ritual of slapping you in the face.

...

**New York's Height Issues!**

"I'm not fucking short! You all are just a bunch of fucking giants, that's all!" New York said angrily. North Carolina, Idaho and Wisconsin were very amused.

You see, New York has always had a bit of complex about her height. This is the reason:

New York's Ego: 1000 feet tall.

Actual Size of New York: 54,556 square miles

New York the Person: 5.2 feet tall.

"Oh come on, Yorkie, you're gonna have to accept the fact that you're a little shortie!" Idaho ruffled New York's short, white hair. She smiled, "I think you may have grown an inch since the last century, though." There were no words to describe the look that came upon New York's face, it was as if she became the embodiment of rage, "Don't... you... condescend me... you fucking piece of garbage shit!" She then ran away, as fast as she could. It made Wisconsin giggle because she thought short people looked silly when they ran.

"Well, New York sure held back her rage this time, didn't she?" North Carolina said, without a single trace of irony.

"Yeah. I kinda feel bad for her, being so short..." Wisconsin said, "Now, who wants some lunch!"

"Yeah! Lunch!" they all said at once.

New York didn't look where she ran, and she ended up bumping into Texas. She was knocked over, landing on the concrete face first. Getting herself up, she wiped away the traces of blood from her nose. "What are ya doin' runnin' around? The cops didn't see your stash of coc-"

"Not that, you stupid hick." New York interupted, she looked down, distracted with her thoughts for a moment. "Hey Abi,"

"What?"

"Am I short?"

Texas stared at her, wondering what she could mean by that. "Well... a'course ya are."

Tears started to form at the corner of New York's eyes, "So... I am some sort of fucking freakshow."

"What are ya talkin' about? Your height might be diff-rent then most people, I reckon, but there nothin' wrong with it. Like take my ak-sant, how many people do you reckon talk like me? Ya look silly, I sound silly, but that won't change us at all. It's who we are that matters, not what we look like'r sound like. You're not a freak-show, just a normal, although very short, damn thug! Are ya comforted?" She slapped New York on the back, in that overly friendly manner that pissed her off so much.

"I am going to shank you with a bendy straw."

"That's the spirit!"

How inspiring!

Disclaimer: Do not try to actually shank someone with a bendy straw. We do not know whether or not this works, but no one at Headquarters was willing to find out(consensually). New York's lawyers would like to inform the reader that she does not, in any shape or form, do or sell illegal drugs. The statements in the story were just for comedic effect.

Because cocaine is hilarious, obviously.

...

**California's Question**

California was closely following Alaska, bothering her as she attempted to go about her day. "So, Alllaaassskkkaaa...?"

Silence.

"Come on, I'm going to ask something different, I swear!"

Alaska peaked behind her shoulder, glaring at the blond, who was jumping up and down excitedly. All morning. All morning she had been following her. Asking the same fucking question, to which she would get the same fucking answer. It would be insane to give her a second chance, but with the big blue eyes looking at her, she had to give her one more chance.

"Okay, but you better not be asking-"

"Can you shape-shift into animals?"

"Goddamn it, California. No, the answer is no. The fucking answer is no, it always will be no, my answer will not change just because this is the tenth time you've asked the question. I cannot change into animals, neither can any other Inuit or Native American. No. Just get that idea out of your head, for the last time."

"Okay then, so what about-"

"We are not a playable race on World of Warcraft."

"Okay- can-"

"You cannot sell my hair on ebay claiming that it has magical properties."

"Well then-"

"You cannot sell my hair on ebay, period."

A sigh of disappointment filled the air.

...

**Florida Back in The Days of No One Knowing Her!**

A girl with black hair and brown skin walked through grass, mosquitoes and bugs flying around, but nothing too serious. She was focused on one particular bug, one that kept on flying around her, and was becoming very annoying. She was very surprised when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

"Florida?"

"Oh..." she remembered the face, sorta, but couldn't really tell who he was. "Hello..."

"It's America. Remember?"

"Oh yeah, right..." she drifted off to somewhere else, looking back at the annoying bug.

"Florida!"

"Oh, sorry." she wasn't actually sorry.

"Anyways, I came to visit you, to check on how you were doing!"

"Hm. That's cool. Try not to upset the mosquitoes."

"Why?"

"They're everywhere..."

A mysterious mooing filled the air. "You hear them, Meri? You hear them? They are such lovely wild creatures... I love having them around and around... and then not seeing them... it is quite peaceful!"

America left, realizing why people didn't like to live there.

...

**Welcome to Maine, the Land of Never Sleeping- Ever!**

"Hello, Britain! Welcome to Maine! I think you'll enjoy your business vacation very much in my peaceful state."

He smiled and laughed, "Well, it's quite lovely over here. I haven't visited New England in quite a long time, I've forgotten how much I enjoyed it."

Maine was a tall girl with curly blond hair and grey eyes, she had a cheerful aura about her, like someone who liked to be around people. She gestured for Britain to follow. "This is the shopping district. Don't worry, with our great regulation, we only get the most top quality demonic merchandise in our stores. Guaranteed to unleash the spawns of Hell, or your money back."

Britain laughed nervously, "That's a joke, right?"

Maine made a sort of incomprehensible 'huh' noise, she led him over to the next area. "This is the hotel you will be staying at. It is the only hotel for miles, and you'll have your own murderous fangirl, compliments of the hotel. If you turn on your radio and all you hear is the wails of tortured souls, it might take a few minutes to adjust it until you can get a station. The bed might also turn sentient and try to eat you, is that a problem?"

"Ha, ha... that's so funny... You're hilarious, Maine."

"Way to look at the bright side, you old trooper, you." she nudged him with her elbow. "Every Friday the town has a cookout, but don't stay out past 12AM, because that's when the elves like to come out and play tricks." she smiled at him for one uncomfortable minute. "Moving on! I hope you know that we have some rocky weather, a lot like our rocky coasts! So, before you go out, please know that there usually is a 50 percent chance of it raining blood, so remember to dress well, and you won't get a cold!"

She led him over to what seemed to be a theme park, with roller coasters and rides. "This is Funland, the funnest place on Earth. It used to be closed, but it's opening just for you, isn't that great?"

"Why did it close down?" he was extremely creeped out by now.

"The owner committed suicide in the fun-house while reciting a Satanic verse in the bible of Satan, why do you ask?"

"Well then, is there anything else I need to know?"

"This whole town was built on an Indian burial ground."

Maine turned around, and Britain was already running away. "Happens every time." she muttered, frustrated.

...

**Utah's Dilemma**

Utah sat at the edge of the campus, a little worn out from the recent state meeting. She was a sad, because no one seemed to really pay attention to her. She couldn't seem to imagine why everyone ignored her, and so she went into her thoughts, deep in a flashback of the recent meeting...

_Utah skipped into the meeting room, "Hey everybody! What's going down?"_

_ A sort of dull shadow fell over the room, as if all of the awesome was drained out of the building. "I made you all cookies, each with a fun fact about the state of the US inscribed on it in icing! This'll make our meetings so much more exciting!"_

_She passed them out to each state, DC, America and Puerto Rico. "Thanks for being a fucking buzzkill." exclaimed New Jersey._

_"Hey, have some tact, fucking tactless bitch." came an unwanted reply from New York._

_"Um, sweetie, thanks for the cookies, we appreciate it, but... This is kinda lame, you get it, right?" Georgia said gently._

_"Yeah, you're totally lame."_

_"Utah is lame."_

_"Lame."_

_"Lame." _

_"You are lame and should do something about the fact that you are lame, in fact you are very lame. Utah is lame." _

She though even harder. What is it that made her so ignore-able...? It wasn't that she wasn't nice, she was very nice... so what was it? Perhaps, if she were so bold, it might be that she has had trouble being what the youngsters call 'socially fashionable'? Or... yes, the word is cool! She needs to be cool! Even just a little.

But she would need help. She thought of all the cool states... listing them in her head, the ones that everyone thinks of when they think of the US...

Texas, Florida, California, New York, Louisiana, and Ohio... yes, Ohio! She will take cool-lessons from Ohio!

How on Earth could this go wrong?

...

**The Separated Twins**

West Virginia snuggled with her cat, watching the computer screen as a video played. It was another briefing of the recent conference, but this time, it was Virginia speaking. The two looked exactly alike, nearly indistinguishable. But she knew that they were separate entities, quite different harmonious days of only being one.

_They walked together, holding hands. They didn't speak, but it was quite clear that something had changed. It was something they didn't want to acknowledge, something they hoped would go away. But it wouldn't. They had disagreed on something, for the first time in years they had disagreed. They looked forward, they looked away. It couldn't go on like this._

_Without a word, their hands fell open, and the link vanished. _

_She was alone._

...

Hey! Thanks for reading. There is absolutely no justifying the length of time it took for me to update. But I still hope you have enjoyed it! I'm noticing that this chapter has more chances of it being offensive to some people, so I apologize in advance. And yeah, I ended the chapter on a pretty downer note, but... look, a unicorn!


	3. Chapter 3

Hiya! I'm finally in the third chapter! Note: This chapter might be a bit more serious than the others, because I have been thinking of more serious stories lately.

...

**Hot Chocolate and Vanilla Latte: Two Groovy Crime Fighting Chicks**

It was 1973, and there was a severe issue. California was missing her whale lard, the only thing that could make her actors look as greasy and sweaty as they did in that era. There was panic, people were running around, furniture was burning for no reason, and worst of all... _Journalists_ were arriving... Nothing could be worse than _journalists_ because they made people look bad... because they were making themselves look bad. Anyways, that does not matter at all, because, out of nowhere they arrived.

Texas and Ohio, standing as a duo.

"I'm Hot Chocolate." cried Texas, proudly loading her pistol. Texas was as white as she could possibly be, from her white cowboy hat, to her white boots, and her distinct vanilla flavor (as opposed to black people, who taste like apples).

"And I'm Vanilla Latte." said Ohio coolly, a cigarette in hand. Ohio was incredibly hip and happening, totally down with the times, man. She possessed a huge afro, with a comb in it, only because she was full of win and awesome. She looked up at California, "So, what's going down, Cali my lady-woman? I hear there's some bad mojo in Hollywood, and we're here to set it cool and groovy again. So tell me, who's the Man that's cramping your style?"

California was confused, "I called for the authorities. Why didn't they..."

"I reckon they were too busy with an armed robbery, so they sent us to find yer whale lard. We're the best of the best, so we're too good to do the dangerous stuff."

California isn't going to find her whale lard.

...

**Post-Election Antics**

Mississippi sat at her facebook. She was bitter. Very bitter.

Her side had lost, and she had plenty of embarrassing Ron Paul supporting pictures (who did you think she was voting for?). What could she do? What could anyone do? She was at a loss. What is a dignified, classy way of accepting defeat?

Time to troll the president's page, of course!

_Liberalidiot23: Durr hurr, I lov steelin things an bein a damn crimnal theef cuz i lyk to do dat. im gonna right lov letrs to stalln cuz dat's what libruls do. did i menchun dat i gayfag?_

_Abilene Smith: Mississippi, I know that's you. We lost. We all did. There's no need to go drinking and trolling while on facebook like that. I know that you were very invested in Ron Paul winning, but it was never going to happen._

_Liberalidiot23: Dammit, Texas. _

_Orangelover: Hey, wat r we talkin about? im bored, can sum1 message me?_

_Abilene Smith: Hold on, let me deal with Lorenzo real quick, should only take a second._

_Totallyagirlforlegit: Not cool, Texas._

_Abilene Smith: You're playing with your iPhone while being deported?_

_Totallyagirlforlegit: I'm playing with YOUR iPhone to be exact._

_Abilene Smith: Goddamn it, Sonora._

_Totallyagirlforlegit: You did leave it in your in your purse. You were practically asking for it. xD_

_Liberalidiot23: Well... u all ruined my nightly troll._

_Orangelover: im bored, texas mesage me._

_State of Utah: Hey, I just discovered facebook! How cool is this?!_

_Liberalidiot23: im sorry, i have to go to bed. nite everyone, see u next meetin._

_Totallyagirlforlegit: i forget ingles bye._

_Oranglover: i just got cancer, i have to go get cancer stuff, by_

_Abilene Smith: Oh no, it seems as though my horses have gotten out of their pens. I gave to go get them. So... bye._

_Chinesecitizen: These critic of chinese government are bad knowledge from western imperialist mouth. chinese people love live in china, china is perfect zone of people victory._

_State of Utah: Hey China, I just discovered facebook. Message me? :D_

_Chinesecitizen: Um... culture strictly forbids speak to Utah. must go, please get translator good no english...土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆 it seem my translator bad, very bad... 土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆土豆 bye_

_Sunflowersandsunshine: Privet **State of Utah**, do you want to buy a delicious, fertile woman to bear your children? Just contact this site... w.w.w.. mail - order - bride.C O M_

__Sunflowersandsunshine: Privet __**Chinesecitizen**__, do you want to buy a delicious, fertile woman to bear your children? Just contact this site... w.w.w.. mail - order - bride.C O M__

_Wanker: Wankers_

___Sunflowersandsunshine: Privet __**Wanker**__, do you want to buy a delicious, fertile woman to bear your children? Just contact this site... w.w.w.. mail - order - bride.C O M___

...

**An Introduction Letter From Hawaii**

_Hello, my human name is Lilo! You should be able to remember that, cause it's kinda like 'Lily' except completely different (better)! Me and Alaska became states in 1959, so in territorial representative years that's really recent! I'm a short, skinny girl with dark eyes and long purple hair, don't ask me why my hair is purple, or I might just throw a coconut at you. I also have very, very, very tan skin. I'm kind of a native Hawaiian/Asian-ish girl, but I just say that I'm a Pacific Islander because that's easy!_

_ I spend a lot of time with China and Japan, cause' they like to vacation in my house. My boss says that's kinda weird, but I don't see what's so weird about two guys coming over for two weeks every once in a while. What do people think we do? Pirate movies? Some people are so __ridiculous._

_I used to be a territory with very little authority, so I ended up throwing coconuts at America until I could become a state! It took years, but eventually he succumbed to the power of the coconuts (no one can resist them)._

_ I was once a nation, but America decided to be a stupid jerk and annex me. But the upside was that since I was a territory, I could throw coconuts at him. I don't know why I was suddenly allowed to do this, but I enjoyed it! Sadly, I have no reason to throw coconuts at him now, so I just throw them at California because she steals my tourists. The other states say that I'm unreasonable, but they're just jealous that they don't have a wonderful coconut artillery. Did I mention that a president was in my land? Cause there was. Just saying._

_..._

**Quebec and Idaho's Spy Adventure!**

Idaho leaned against the bar, the shadows covering her face, hiding the grin that grew ever so slowly. She approached the woman, prepared for the ensuing "adventure". The woman had long blonde hair and blue eyes, whose expressions were easily hidden by her own will. Her hips shifted as she moved, she smirked, "So it is Miss Ida that I see again? I did not think I'd get the pleasure of another meeting."

"Cut the crap, Quebec."

"You ask that of me? You're the one that's constantly trying to sneak in my country." her smirk faded, but she didn't stop maintaining a casual tone. The others around them were either too drunk or high to gain anything from what they were saying. "You know what I want." Idaho whispered harshly into her ear, "And I know that you have it."

She laughed incredulously, shoving the state away. "I do not have what you seek! Even if I had it, I wouldn't give it to you. Not because of loyalty, but just out of spite. I think we both know you deserve it." She sat at the stool, crossing her legs elegantly. She wore a short black dress, soft in texture and only mildly formal. She continued, "Anything else D.C. wants?"

Idaho's mouth twitched, "You know? You're a good woman, Quebec. Also a good liar." Suddenly, she snatched the province's purse. Quebec immediately shot out of her seat, "You do not know what forces you invoke."

"If there's anything I know from my history classes, it's that Americans always know what they get into." she began to open the door, "You know, Canada oughta get better spies, just letting people take things."

"By the way, you just set off a timer for a bomb."

Idaho's eyes widened. Quebec had to be bluffing. She was a spy, but she was also Canadian, and it's a general rule that Canadians don't like bombs. She searched the purse, only to find a small phone. A timer with five minutes left was ticking away. She looked around, where could she throw it? "How do I stop it?" Quebec simply began to smirk once more, "How do you stop it, Miss Ida? I suppose you'd have to give my bag back."

"Never." Idaho took off, running into the streets. What could she do with the phone? What could anyone do? The timer clicked and clicked away. She passed sign after sign until she found the library. The timer was nearly up, and she suddenly felt as though she made a bad choice. The timer fell to zero, and nothing happened. Turns out it was just a regular phone with a timer. Idaho was naturally pissed.

"Well, there was no explosion, but at least I have the the chip." she placed the chip into the computer, awaiting the long awaited information. She became completely furious, "What? Just a bunch of worthless launch codes!"

Quebec gently touched her shoulder, "Now who's the reckless spy? The American government won't have our syrup recipe for a very long time."

...

**Nevada Wants You to Try Her Pillow**

"Hello, all." Nevada walked to the center of the show room, smiling. She had light eyes and tan skin, with light brown hair, a friendly aura about her. "I want you all to look at the amazing pillow." It was a simple pillow, one she held in her hand. She put it on a stand, showing it to the world. "Look at it." The crowd was silent and confused. They had been promised a Vegas act, but this was just... strange.

"Do you ever feel like you need a better pillow? Just stick your face in this pillow! There's only a 30% chance that you'll wake up with one less kidney, and they only smell a little bit like chloroform!" She was confident in her product, but the audience was not. They weren't quite sold, for whatever reason.

...

**Trying to Find Material: Washington - The Writer's Challenge**

Washington sat at her desk, thinking and thinking, but not doing anything. She thought, 'Maybe if I walk...' and she walked, but nothing came of it. She quickly wrote something down, something that seemed like a good idea!

She laughed while writing it, she was filled with utter joy. Everyone will love it! Everyone! But then a thought came to her, it... it is a little bit offensive. But all comedy is at least a little bit offensive, so that's okay, right? She continued writing, now a slight seed of worry, but overall, she still enjoyed herself. A new paragraph, some sentences, some punchline-

Oh no, the internet masses won't like that. But it was only that one line, and she quickly deleted it. She rose from her seat, getting something to eat. Writing always made her hungry, even if she wasn't hungry. She turned back to her work, a little reluctantly. She gazed at it, thinking hard. What was the punchline again?

Oh yes, she couldn't put that in. Time to create a different one. But the next one was even worse! She couldn't even giggle at it. Where was the previous rainbow in her head? She looked over her past work, realizing some of it didn't make sense, and she edited it. But that only made her realize that her entire story was awful, and she quickly deleted it all and proceeded to wait a few months before attempting a story again.

...

**Why Oman is Secretly a Threat to Our National Security**

Oh, it was brilliant - everyone knew it was brilliant. Oman sat at her desk, smiling nicely at the webcam. "You know, we really should trade more, Mr. America. You are one of my top partners!"

America grinned, "Sure. But maybe you can send me a translation of that meme you told me about? It was funny."

He only _thought_ that they were easy going acquaintances, but he was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. As a Middle Eastern country, it is a requirement that she somehow conspire against America, a requirement indeed. He thought that she spoke Arabic, but no! It was a lie. She actually spoke English the entire time, only as a way to somehow make him trust her by him thinking that she spoke Arabic. Somehow.

He thought he was safe around her. But no. He wasn't. In any moment, she will take some of his private citizens and force them to vacation at her decent hotels! Oh, it was brilliant, an excellent evil plan for an excellent evil master mind. They will be reluctant, at first, but then her reasonably priced vacations will draw them in... and then they'll be assimilated into ISLAM! McDonalds will be hers at last!

But then her arch-nemesis approached her, and, laughing maniacally, he reminded her that the UAE will always get more tourists, and there is nothing she can do about it.

Her plans were foiled once more.

...

**Texas' Gun**

"Texas?" Florida's eyes were wide, she was scared... what she had just witnessed was... just so shocking and violent. The state was on her knees, refusing to look at the other. She could only nurse her wounded arm. The man was a bad shot, and maybe, just maybe she could have done something different. Maybe the young man didn't have to die, she could have tried to... But she never thought about this before, so what made this time different? Was it the the man's eyes growing in dread when he realized that this fight would be his last? Was it the light of someone young, someone of her own territory, snuffed out right in its prime?

No. Those things never bothered her before. It was the horror of Florida, whose dark eyes revealed a new kind of fear. The fear of someone you liked. "Florida- I jus', I jus' felt like I hadda, Florida." The dark-haired state knelt beside Texas, careful and cautious, the fear still lingering. She laid her hand on her shoulder, "Let me take a look at your arm."

Texas continued to look away, but let her look at her left arm. If she had been a normal human, the wound would have gotten infected, but she, as a territory, could heal it on it's own if it was simply wrapped up in bandages. She tore a sleeve of her dress, quietly tying the cloth around the hole (the bullet had simply passed right through the arm). "This ain't gonna be the las' one I kill, ya'll understand, right? Sometimes I wish I was like you, you don't have that many people... people 'round here are scared of each other... And he, he was the one who decided ta pick a fight, Florida, ya saw! It's his fault, God dammit." The two exchanged gazes, and Texas burst into tears.

Florida wrapped her arms around Texas's neck, supporting herself with the territory's strong shoulders. "I'm so sorry ya'll had ta see that. But I swear I hadda, I hadda..." she put her arms around Florida's waist, clinging to the comfort the girl brought her. A soft whisper, and it can't be remembered who said it, because neither would admit it.

"But I love you."

...

State Meeting: Take Two

The states were gathered together, all ready to ask their questions. To make sure no one dominated the discussion, they made a box where people would put in anonymous questions which would be discussed. The first one:

**1. Gather syrup recipe.**

**2. ?**

**3. Profit**

"Oh, oops. Ha ha." said Idaho, quickly gathering the slip of paper. "Must've mixed that with the question. Just... just some groceries, that's all."

"That doesn't sound like a grocery list..."

"Why doesn't the liberal media back away and let the military do it's job, goddammit!"

There was an awkward silence.

The second:

**If God exists, why is it that his followers are such idiots?**

Massachusetts gazed smugly at the lowly sheeple, satisfied in knowing that she was firmly superior to them. "I have a better question, why are atheists such self-congratulatory pricks?" asked New Jersey, her temper rising.

"Let's calm down, we don't need to fight about this." said Florida.

"Um, yeah, I agree with Florida." claimed Texas, quickly stealing a glance at her.

On that note...

**Why do Florida and Texas pretend that they're NOT totally gay for each other. It would be a secret if it weren't so obvious, but it's so obvious!**

New York whistled inconspicuously, tapping her foot and looking into the other direction. Surely, she could not be the one who asked this question, not someone who looked this innocent!

Florida turned bright red, "It's not like that!"

"Sure it isn't."

Another anonymous reply, surely not from New York who managed to say it while no one was looking.

"Moving on." said DC, wishing to keep the peace.

**Are there any single women interested in a photo shoot in my basement, I am an artist and you could become a model...**

France was escorted from the building.

...

End of Chapter

*rolls around in frustration* Oh my god, I really don't like this new installment. If you didn't like this chapter, please tell me and I'll try to improve on the next. Also, I didn't forget Nevada. :P So now you all know, Florida and Texas are a thing... and everyone but the two states themselves know it! xD I think I'll choose some as the main characters, the ones I'll focus on.

Texas

Florida

New York

Ohio

Alaska

California

Pennsylvania?

...and, in the next chapter, we will meet Louisiana!


End file.
